


...Actually

by Davechicken



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Love Actually - Freeform, M/M, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-01
Updated: 2013-12-01
Packaged: 2018-01-03 04:00:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1065512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(For assbutts-and-bollocks)</p><p>Crowley has had enough with Castiel's version of Christmas and wants something for himself...</p>
            </blockquote>





	...Actually

**Author's Note:**

  * For [assbutts-and-bollocks](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=assbutts-and-bollocks).



"Look," Crowley said, narrowing his eyes in a way that said 'you will do exactly as I say if you want me to remember to get you off tonight', "if I have to put up with all these bloody decorations and you _insisting_ it's a divine law to uphold the mistletoe-kisses even when we did it ten minutes ago, you can watch one damn film with me."

"Jesus would want us to make out," Cas pouted, using his lower lip to best advantage and trying to get his hair to flop forwards so he could look as endearing and - alright - fuckable - as possible. "He was big on love."

"You cannot use Jesus as an excuse to get anything you want for the whole of December, Castiel. And some of the reasons are tenuous at best."

'But Jesus turned water into wine, so we need mulled wine,' for instance. Or 'for his birthday, Jesus got gold, so those decorations are not _tacky_ , they are _in keeping_ ,' followed by a little smirk that said he was about to make a joke about room in the aforementioned inn again. Those were amongst the most sensible ones. But 'Jesus really liked to give footrubs so you're just paying homage to him,' was just the angel being a little shit.

"Who knew him personally? That's right: me."

"Well you keep bleating on about how God is Love so you can cope with a single DVD."

"It's soppy."

"Bite me."

"Where?" Cas' eyes glittered in that way that said he wanted to bite Crowley _everywhere_ to make sure he did it right, but Crowley wasn't going to be dissuaded.

" **Later** ," he growled. "Film first. We can have some of that mulled wine you insist is consumable and some mince pies if you agree."

Cas clearly weighed up the relative merits of the suggestion and finally relented. "Fine. But if it sucks, I am going to amuse myself while you watch it."

"Deal."

Castiel decided to get the pillow fort ready on the couch as his demon went off to prepare things. It was a very nice couch and designed specifically for two people to get very friendly on it. If they were going to do this, they were going to do it properly, so he fetched some cushions and a throw for their legs. He wasn't sure why Crowley had such a soft spot for chick flicks and ridiculous television programming, but if it meant he was a complete gentleman with his courtship then it was just something else to be fondly exasperated about.

Like - say - when he came back with two mugs of the very fragrant and tasty wine and the mince pies on a fancy little plate. It must be a British thing, surely, putting those paper things underneath everything they were going to eat. Oh well. They looked pretty, and he got his hand slapped when he reached for one. 

"Not until it starts."

Cas sighed and flung himself melodramatically back into the couch. "Satan."

"You called?"

Cas stayed where he was until Crowley started up the DVD which he insisted was perfect and would fill him with the spirit of Christmas (he would rather be filled with the spirit of Crowley) and when Crowley sat back with the plate held out for him to take one... Cas did so but with a little bit of a snit, still.

'Love Actually' the box proclaimed. It was probably going to involve completely ridiculous depictions of romantic intentions. Cas had been through the most ridiculous of romantic subplots of his own, he didn't feel the need to watch fictional people pretend to feel things when he had it at home, thank you very much. He just never seemed to enjoy fiction the same way Crowley or even Sam and Dean did. Some of it he liked, but he felt like perhaps he was missing some vital something to understand it. 

But Crowley wanted this, so he figured relationships were about compromise and learning to understand your partner, even if you didn't have exactly the same interests. And it wasn't like he was asking him to hold his coat while he tortured people, so there was that. He relented and when he'd finished eating his little pie he burrowed up against his lover's side, nudging until Crowley got with the picture and draped an arm over his shoulder. That done, he put his head on Crowley's, and settled in for the long haul.

The first thing he noticed was that it was so very _British_. Not just the accents - which were all over the place - but it was that slightly different way of behaving that he couldn't quite put his finger on. Maybe that's why he was watching it? Crowley never dropped that accent of his (and Cas was thankful for that, because dear _God_ was it like being fucked in his ear when he spoke) and he had to wonder if there was a reason he still held onto that. 

There were a lot of people in this film. Many of them he recognised - one of them was that Hobbit thing, and one of them was one of the wizards in that other thing, and one of them had been a pirate or something - and the story-lines seemed to bounce all over the place. It was difficult to keep up at first, because he kept expecting it all to tie into a knot that he could understand. Then the scenes kept jumping and he growled because he wanted to know what was happening with the young boy, or the obviously gay man, or the man who had no clue what the woman was saying but kept making eyes at the pretty girl. 

"Why doesn't he just get a translator?" Cas asked.

"It would spoil the film, Cas."

"But it would mean he could talk to her about his feelings."

"He doesn't want to do that."

"Why?"

"Just watch, angel," Cas said, pressing a finger to his nose in that not-really condescending but fond way he had.

Cas sighed and settled back down.

"They should all just kiss."

"Yes, that would probably help a lot of them out."

"This is frustrating."

"Yep."

There was at least three times when Cas felt like getting up and shouting at the television. It was clear even to him who should be in love with whom, and he didn't see why they kept making it so difficult for themselves. Love was love and he was a firm believer in going for it and damn the consequences. 

Then something he didn't expect happened. The man who was obviously in love with his best friend...

"But he - he - that's **wrong**!"

"What, because he's crushing on his friend's woman, or because you thought he wanted his friend?"

"Both! What! Crowley, what is this? What have you made me watch?"

"It's a little Christmas story about love, Cas, that's all."

Castiel felt betrayed. He'd been played! He'd been had. This was not what he signed up for. 

"I don't like it."

Crowley pulled him in and kissed his temple. "You will. Just watch."

The film went on. Some of the people got happily ever afters, but some of them did not. Although Castiel could see how the film showed the non-sexual relationships were just as important as the ones where the two (or in some cases, more) people were clearly engaging in sexual congress... he was happy and sad all at once and he didn't really know how to react.

"But... why?"

"Why what?"

"Why aren't they all happy?"

"They are, Cas."

He frowned. Perhaps they were. Perhaps he just didn't get it.

"But things could have been better for some of them."

"In an ideal world, yes," Crowley said patiently, stroking his arm. "But it's not an ideal world, and people cock up their lives all the time. It's not all fairytales about Princes and their Princesses."

"It's frustrating."

"I know."

"Why do you enjoy it? It... hurts..."

"That's why I enjoy it. It hurts but in a nice way. And it makes me appreciate what I do have all the more."

"You're just saying that to get in my pants," Cas said, accusingly, but he could see from the smile in his lover's eyes that that was a complete lie.

"Is it working?"

"You're going to have to try harder than that. I did just sit through - like - fifteen hours of people being stupid for you."

"You think that was fifteen hours?" Crowley's nose bumped against his, then his lips teased over Cas' mouth. "No wonder it seems like we fuck for days on end then..."

"That's because we do," Cas insisted, launching himself into Crowley's lap and stopping any more stupid discussions by putting his tongue deep into his mouth. 

Maybe stupid chick flicks weren't so bad after all.


End file.
